


3AM and Still Thinking About You

by Onibu (skychromatic)



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2hyun is messing me up i hate them, Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, accept my dark soul for this writing, and in torture while writing it, angst angst angst, broken 2hyun, full blown sadness i hope because that's what i'm aiming for, i am in pain just thinking about this, i wanna shove jonghyun back to minhyun bacause he's an idiot, idek what is going on but 2hyun is like this okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skychromatic/pseuds/Onibu
Summary: as jonghyun gently places minhyun on his bed, he looks away. he’s scared that if he looks at minhyun right now, he’ll be reminded sorely at what he destroys.





	3AM and Still Thinking About You

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt goes: (rarely seen) drunk minhyun knocked on jonghyun’s hotel room door at 3am to say,  
> ‘today at seongwoo and daniel’s wedding party, i couldn’t help but keep thinking of how this was almost us’
> 
> oh god i really hope my recipient likes this. i'm not feeling to confident about this because i've been busy and all but i tried my best.
> 
> also i am really sorry for the jlfic team because i suck at keeping up the deadlines and all. god so sorry you guys.

_the wedding went well, both daniel and seongwoo looked glowing with happiness, and minhyun had wished deep down as he glanced to the one standing from across the room; the familiar figure that should’ve been lost in the sea of people but just like that, his eyes always finds its way back to him; that they were almost like that._

_but that’s all in the past,_

_and minhyun really wished that he could turn back the time._

 

_-_

 

_jonghyun could feel the burning stare at the back of his head, knowing full well who it was. and it takes all of his willpower not to succumb to the intensity of it. he knew what he did in the past. it was still fresh in his memory and jonghyun had to convinced himself again,_

_just like how he convinced himself at that day,_

_all of this was for minhyun,_

_all of his decision was for the better._

_(even if better meant heartbreak and painful memories. meant sacrificing and losing himself along the way. a hard road that jonghyun ended up taking just because he_ thought _it was all for the_ better. _even though he was unsure if it was better or not anymore.)_

 

* * *

 

 

it’s in the middle of the night and jonghyun has been peacefully sleeping before there’s an insistent knock on his hotel door. jonghyun tries to ignore it, brushing it off for someone that mistook his room as theirs and tries to sleep again.

but it insisted and still knocks twice, thrice and jonghyun can't stand it anymore.

jonghyun still feels the fatigue because of the wedding party earlier and all he wants to do is sleep his but the person currently knocking on his hotel door clearly doesn’t know the meaning of sleep, or even manners. jonghyun sighs, he looks at his phone to see the glaring _3:00_ blinking back to him as the knock continues. he gets up to scold whoever that is bothering his much needed sleep.

he hesitates for a bit at the door, knowing that nothing ever comes good at dawn but then the intruder knocks again and jonghyun finally opens the door, only to be greeted by a falling man, much taller and larger than him.

at first, he doesn’t realise who it is, too busy to support the man from toppling both of them to the ground. but as he regains his bearings, jonghyun tensed up when the stranger suddenly hugs him.

they say the body remembers what the brain forgets, and jonghyun’s body clearly remembers. almost certain of it, because he almost reciprocate the hug immediately. jonghyun stops his arms mid air, hovering on the man’s back and closes his eyes. the lingering feeling that reminds him of what he once called home came to him full force and it makes him choke up for some reason. jonghyun awkwardly drops his arms to his instruder’s side.

“min--” jonghyun takes a shaky breath. “--minhyun. are you okay?”

“...jju? is that you?” minhyun’s voice sounds so small, yet there’s a hint of endearment in it and jonghyun can feel a storm brewing inside himself. _that nickname_ , it’s been so long. _too long_.

“this isn’t your room” jonghyun says a matter of fact.

jonghyun tries to push minhyun off his shoulder, but minhyun is stubborn when he wanted to as he clings to him. jonghyun closes his eyes, memories that once was in the back of his mind is starting to came up. memories of what they used to be, of the times where they used to cuddled all night, endless touch that comforted jonghyun or vice versa, stolen kisses out in the open or when they’re back in their own safe haven, their home.

memories that is like an open wound, because the wound has been cut open by the person that is in his arms.

(but jonghyun has no right to blame minhyun on that. it’s all his fault, this is all his doing.)

jonghyun takes a shaky breath, tighten his hold around minhyun and promptly drags them inside his room.

it’s a bit difficult when minhyun stumbles inside with him and jonghyun can smell the alcohol in his breath when they finally settles in. he wonders for a second as to why the other had recklessly drinking when he obviously couldn’t.

as jonghyun gently places minhyun on his bed, he looks away. he’s scared that if he looks at minhyun right now, he’ll be reminded sorely at what he destroys.

for most of the time minhyun lays there, jonghyun only stands aimlessly in the middle of the room, gazing out to the window. the light from the city twinkles bright, outshining the stars above the sky and it’s somewhat beautiful yet sad.

 

_“let’s go”_

_“but min--_

_“no, we’ll go now. you need to get out and see the sky”_

_and out they went, for a short escape from the city; the bustling world called seoul to a smaller town almost near the edge of seoul. the house around looked traditional and peaceful, content on its own even if they’re not as lavished as seoul’s skyscrapers and dazzling technology._

_the scenery at night was as amazing as daylight when the stars shine brightly upon the sky, there’s no light from the town but the moon gave way to the pathway and it’s more enchanting that way._

_“how on earth did you find this place” jonghyun breathed in awe._

_and he was answered with a soft smile with a warm gaze. that in itself, beats all the beautiful scenery he’d seen at that day since right in front of jonghyun, stands the most stunning person, stands his whole world. and jonghyun wonders to himself, that he would protect this moment at all cost._

_“do you like it? i managed to find it from a site that aron recommend the other day”_

_“i love it” jonghyun pauses to take his hand, “minhyun,” and there’s brown orbs staring back at him, “i love you”_

 

“jonghyun” the sound startles him out of his thoughts, and he makes a mistake of whipping back to find an intense stare looking back right at him. he doesn’t answer, couldn’t. not with how his mind is leaping out to the past just by seeing minhyun in his hotel bed with tousled hair and a broken gaze. not when he feels that any moment now, he would break the man he once swore to protect with his own hands, _again_.

so jonghyun only nods, and knows that minhyun had seen it.

“jju-yah” and jonghyun takes a sharp breath at the nickname, “have you seen daniel and ong?”

jonghyun shakes his head.

minhyun smiles with bitterness and gaze out to the window for a while. he stays silent, but jonghyun can see from his eyes there’s a million thoughts that crossed his mind. then minhyun sits up straighter as he sobers up a little more.

“today at the wedding, i couldn't help thinking,” and minhyun turns to look back to jonghyun with a longing. a small voice inside jonghyun’s head pleads, _stop, don’t say anymore than that_. yet, even when he spent years trying to forget about him, jonghyun knows by the way minhyun’s lips parted slightly and smiles, that bittersweet smile of his, jonghyun can predict what minhyun will say to him.

“thinking, that it was almost us.”

 

_“hey jju-yah what are you doing?” minhyun hugged him from the back, swaying both of them on the spot when he saw jonghyun standing in the middle of their living room._

_jonghyun looked tense, feels tense in his hold and minhyun was about to ask what’s wrong again when jonghyun detach himself from minhyun._

_the next thing he knew, jonghyun was awkwardly kneeling in front of him, smiling up, nervously taking the box that he had hidden inside his pocket._

_minhyun soft gasps was the indication for jonghyun not to freak out on his own and proceed what he had been planning for_ months _._

_“minhyun, will y--_

_“yes!” and all of jonghyun’s nervousness melted away. he rolls his eyes, relieved at minhyun’s reaction._

_“let me finish you bighead” the endearing voice betrayed how he tries to sound annoyed._

_“but i just can’t wait any longer” minhyun stretched his hand, eyes glistening with unshed tears but he’s smiling so wide, so happily that made jonghyun smiled as well._

_“god you’re so stupid” as jonghyun stands to slipped the ring, then moved to reached at minhyun’s cheek, wiped the tears that had fallen._

_“but you love me” and jonghyun didn’t deny it. because he did._

 

jonghyun says nothing and in that deafening silence minhyun finally sighs. eventually he tried to get up from jonghyun’s bed, feet still wobbly from the alcohol until he stumbled forward, and there’s a hand, trying to hold him from falling.

“where are you going?”

minhyun smiles sadly towards jonghyun.

“back to my room. i’ve sobered up a little bit. and, um. uh… sorry to intrude, i guess.” minhyun says. minhyun pushes jonghyun away this time, walking towards the door even though he’s still struggling to walk. it takes all of jonghyun’s willpower to not get up and try to stop minhyun from leaving.

_you made this decision, stupid. it’s your own fault._

so jonghyun just stares at minhyun’s back from where he stands, watching as he walks out from his room, and froze when minhyun turns to stare one last time at jonghyun. this time, his eyes is unreadable.

“you know,” minhyun starts,  “even after all these time? i still love you.”

and the door closed with a clean _click_.

 

* * *

 

 

jonghyun had never meant to hurt minhyun.

but the rage and hurt was clear as daylight in minhyun’s eyes.

jonghyun had said something that he shouldn't. in the end, jonghyun had broke his own promise.

“jju-yah..” minhyun voice was starting to waver. the room felt suffocating.

min--  ah… jonghyun didn't have the right to call his name like that anymore.

“hwang minhyun” and he did it again, hurting the person he swore to never hurt as minhyun looked at him with eyes filled with hurt.

“jju-yah” and this time, minhyun didn’t hide his choked out sob.

“why are you here hwang?” jonghyun said.

“please come back, i-i .. “ minhyun sputtered out as he stepped closer yet not that close. he wanted to make the physical contact but afraid it’d make jonghyun disappeared again.

“jonghyun please tell me what i did wrong, i-i.. can’t leave it just like this”

_it’s not your fault._

it was never minhyun’s fault. jonghyun was just too stupid to hold on, too afraid that he’d be left again and too selfless that he just couldn't let minhyun lose the opportunity because of him.

(it had been two month since their engagement and they were so happy. stupidly incredibly happy. they felt like nothing could go wrong at all.

but then one day minhyun came back home with a restless look. jonghyun had been overly worried because he thought minhyun had gotten in trouble with one of his annoying boss. but on the contrary, he was promoted.

“what? that’s great min!”

jonghyun frowns when minhyun still looked troubled and hold his hand, leading them both to sit on the couch. jonghyun waited, patiently as ever as minhyun fidgeted in his seat, then darted his eyes around room. minutes passed and minhyun hadn’t said anything, and jonghyun still waited.

after a long silence, minhyun sighed.

“they wanted me to go to america by the end of the month” minhyun shook his head, then smiled softly. “i won’t take that offer jong-ah. we’ll have our wedding around the same time. i’m happy with what i do now”

but jonghyun knew minhyun oh so very well. he knew how much effort minhyun had put towards his career and it had been his dream since settling on that exact company that he’ll move up to the top. it had been his long time dream, and jonghyun knows if he didn’t do anything, minhyun would let it go.

and jonghyun was suddenly scared. he’s _terrified_ even, that minhyun would regret his decision in the long run, he’ll regret that he ever choose jonghyun over his work, over his long time dream. it’s stupid, but jonghyun has always been like this)

so jonghyun called the wedding off on his own, moves out from their apartment. he choose this path thinking that it’s better for the two of them. so that minhyun won’t be stuck with him, because jonghyun sometimes felt that he didn’t deserve minhyun, not when he’s insecurities always clawed at him, anxiousness like a deadweight upon his shoulder.

minhyun had tried to fix him, but it seems that it’s not working.

“i-i’m sorry min-ah” jonghyun unconsciously slipped out the nickname and minhyun’s eyes soften; almost sparkled with a little bit of hope.

“there’s nothing wrong with you” _\-- you’re perfect already._

“it’s all my fault,” _\-- i’m a coward you know._

“be happy okay, please” _\-- because if i know you’re sad, i’ll blame myself even more._

“goodbye” and jonghyun pushed minhyun out from his apartment, then closed the door.

_i’m sorry, i love you._

**Author's Note:**

> just to inform you guys, after minhyun left, jonghyun ended up dreaming about their past hence the story about jonghyun leaving minhyun. 
> 
> well i know this plot is cliche af but i can still imagine how they struggle to work things out. and just to fill you in with a backstory so that my plot seems convincing, jonghyun had his past relationship ruined because of the same thing but in that case, jonghyun tried to hang on and tried to do that long distance relationship that ended up in shambles. 
> 
> so ..... yeah..
> 
> also thanks to @3cmplus for putting up with my whining and even helping me write this and proofreading it. you are my softest bub thank.


End file.
